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Monday, 27 July 2009

The Loaded Vacuum Cleaner Caper

This is a story that my sister, Kaity wrote after having a rather awful experience at work last night.

The Loaded Vacuum Cleaner Caper

It was a very interesting experience, I assure you.
I’m a Hygienic Engineer, working at a Centre for the Improvement and Entertainment of Young Minds (cleaner at a preschool). So I go to work, and I'm vacuum cleaner less; as my boss took off with this important industrial equipment, because of a strange vacuum cleaner klepto compulsion.The head of the preschool gets me the new part, for the broken vacuum that she picked up in Dubbo (I feel the need to kiss her feet, but determinedly resist). And the VC expert (that would be me), sets to work to put the new part in.

She (That's me again...) is fiddling with the head to get the old part off, when suddenly a Large, Grey Mouse leaps out of the end of the Vacuum cleaner.the VC expert handles this quite calmly (screams and hurls the hose away from her; pants wide-eyed for a minute, then checks quickly to make sure no one is around) she gingerly picks up the offending hose, unsure if there are any other Giant Suicidal Rodents waiting to Jump out and Menace her, and continues with her workShe scrapes the join. No luck. She wrenches. No luck. She retrieves a knife from the kitchen and threatens the wretched motionless plastic.It makes an impudent reply so she uses the knife, and actually manages to get the first stage done. The VC expert congratulates herself on this accomplishment, and sets to work to complete the jobit is not long before she realizes that the manoeuvre required is beyond her advanced expertise, so she pesters her boss, who just happens to be out of town. Upon her boss's advice, she scoots over the road to a couple of stranger’s house to pick up available electronic cleaning paraphernalia.She knocks. No answer. And again. No answer. Mumbling unintelligible words, she opens the door, and tiptoes in.'Hello?' silence
Walks further in

Walks in...To the kitchen, where the whole family is having dinner...this, of course, is not awkward at all. The family appears unperturbed at the harried looking girl, wandering uninvited into their kitchen, a freak that looks rather like she's been wrestling with a VC for an hour and a half...the man offers her some dinner (she declines), and the lady fetches the VC then its back off to the House of Horrors to finish the darn job. At 9:45 p.m. when she is finally picked up, her ride drives in, at the same time as a Security Van, the driver of which is no doubt astonished to see a girl come out of a darkened preschool carrying a vacuum cleaner and a backpack.

....Well actually, rather Kaity, because she wrote it....



UnGkHe Nakat`s said...


Kylie said...

hmmm....sounds like a normal day to me.....i think its in my best interests to look as harried as possible when i walk into someone's is more likely to be offered.
thanks for the story! x

Jordan said...

Too true, Kyles...

lorraine said...

hello to you there. I love you and thought your story about the vc very funny