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Monday, 10 August 2009

Who Let the Dogs Out?

This is a short-story/narration that I wrote after reading 2 Kings, chapter 9 (Verses 30 to 37 if you want to be precise) yesterday. Enjoy, or be grossed out...

I live right near the palace. Me and many other dogs. We are strays. Dogs who have wandered too far and gotten lost, or dogs who are not wanted anymore.
Sometimes the palace chef will give us scraps. Not that he knows it.
He will come, or send another servant, with a large wooden bowl. The large bowl is filled with fowl bones, (sometimes still with scraps of meat on them) leftovers from stuffed peacock, pork, and many other delicacies. The chef, or his servant, will dump all the contents of the wooden bowl into a large hole in the ground. This is where they dump all their leftovers.
This is how the other strays and I eat. If there were few leftovers from the past night, we can usually find some scrap that we missed from the night before, or from the night before that.
Lately though, we have had less scraps. Someone must be eating an awful lot, for there has been very few scraps, and, once or twice, there has been none at all!
It is awful. Many of the dogs are skinny as it is, and now that there is not enough food to go around, they have become skinnier still.
We are hungry, and there is never much to eat.
I, as leader of the pack, have more food than the others, and the dogs respect me and let me have first choice. But sometimes I give all of it to the skinniest dogs, who get barely a mouthful.
The other day, we were able to observe a most interesting sight.
The king’s daughter, (Not Jehu, the other king, who Jehu killed) known as, Jezebel, was in her room. She heard the Jehu was coming, and she suspected it wasn’t a friendly visit. She painted her eyes and bejewelled her head and looked out the window. Jehu was coming through the gate. Jezebel called out to him, ‘Have you come in peace, Zimri, you murderer of your master?’
Jehu seemed enraged at this woman and he called ‘Who is on my side? Who?’
Two or three eunuchs looked down at him.
‘Throw her down!’ commanded Jehu pointing at Jezebel.
There was a piercing scream, and then a sickening thud. Jezebel was dead.
He blood spattered on the walls, and even on the horses who trampled on her.
Jehu went in to eat and drink.
I turned to my pack of strays. ‘Are you hungry?’ I asked them.
They nodded.
‘Hungry enough to eat a woman?’ I asked.
Realization began to show in their eyes. We searched to make sure there was no one around, and then ran towards the body of Jezebel.

We devoured her quickly. Our hunger getting the best of us.
Then we heard footsteps approaching towards us and a voice saying, ‘Take care of that cursed woman, and bury her, for she was a king’s daughter.’
We quickly scampered away, afraid of being seen. We hid behind a large fruit tree and I saw two servants come up to what was left of Jezebel’s body. They muttered between themselves for a moment before turning away and walking back towards the palace doors.
The other dogs wanted to go and finish up the body, but I sensed danger, and it was only a few moments before Jehu and the two servants came back to look at the remains of Jezebel.
‘See,’ said once servant. ‘All that remains of Jezebel is her skull, her feet, and her hands.’
The other dogs began to creep away, back to our hiding place. I followed them. As I crept away I heard Jehu remarking gravely, ‘this is the word of the LORD that he spoke through his servant Elijah the Tishbite: On the plot of ground at Jezreel dogs will devour Jezebel's flesh. Jezebel's body will be like refuse on the ground in the plot at Jezreel, so that no one will be able to say, ‘This is Jezebel.’’

Monday, August 10, 2009


Kathrzn Bahn said...

Definitely interesting (and pretty gross). But Jordy! Your new blog takes ages to load!!

Jordan said...

What can I do to make it faster, do you know? By the way, I still have your book 'Archer's Goon. I need to give it back. Do you want me to mail it?

Helen said...

Nice one Jordan - never let it be said that you are one sick puppy!! So are you sticking with the butterfly look?

Emily Mei Ai said...

Hi Jordan,
You what's weird? I was just reading that passage a few weeks back! It's pretty disgusting but Jezebel was evil. Clever how you told it from the dog's perspective.