He Couldn't Dodge 'Em

Yesterday was the Condobolin show. It was good fun really, apart from that time I went on the Dodgem Cars. I've always loved them so I quickly took up the opportunity to go on one.
Emily went with me, riding passenger. Probably not a good idea when I'm driving.
But it wasn't my fault when we lost control of the wheel and went careering around with no control.
It wasn't my fault when other passengers were mortally injured because of our out-of-control car.
And it wasn't my fault when I banged into one of those guys in the yellow shirts who were trying to help the drivers.
He fell over, into one of the empty cars. I drove on. To this day, I still do not know if he made it. Perhaps I should sue for uncontrollable Dodgem Cars.

But that is not all, no that is not all. Here are 6 things you will most likely encounter at a show, whether you like it or not.

1. A ride called 'The Zipper.' Warning: Do not go on this with an empty stomach. In fact, do not go on this at all. Emily lost $2, I lost my stomach.
2. A man selling cool spray-on tattoos. Lasts for 10-14 days. Emily got a rose. I didn't get anything although she suggested I get the one saying 'I'm with stupid.' I still don't understand what she meant by that...
3. Fairy floss. This just had to be one of the 6. After all, what would a show be without fairy floss? Be careful though, this evil sugar can be the cause of an awful Fairy Floss hangover. Ask Emily and Jenna if you don't believe me.
4. While we're still in the food section: Dagwood Dogs. Those little sausage thingies covered in batter. Yuk.
5. Untrustworthy show people. What am I to think when given a ticket saying 'You enter this at your own risk.' Um, how about...Ahhhh! Give me back my money!
6. Scottish men in skirts. Nothing else to say about this. It was undeniable.

These things should all be avoided if you are trying to avoid bringing up your lunch, horrible headaches, or any other physical or mental damage. #6 could do all 3.

Jordan

It Just Keeps Coming

Here is another Bible Narration, see if you can guess which passage it's from:


Joshua yawned as he stretched out on the large, straw, mattress.
His brother, Daniel, sat on the other side of the room. He warmed his hands near the fireplace.
‘It is good to relax after a days work, eh, Josh?’ Daniel said as he rubbed his hands together vigorously.
‘There is nothing more true,’ Josh replied sleepily. He buried his face into the mattress and was about to drop off to sleep when the door to their house was slammed open.
He sat up quickly to look at his mother. She was panting heavily and his eyes were red as if she had been weeping.
‘Mother?’ Daniel rushed over to his mother, anxiousness written all over his face. ‘Whatever is wrong?’
Joshua’s mother sat weakly next to the fireplace before looking up at her sons.
‘The creditor,’ she croaked.
‘What about him? Quick mother, tell me everything!’ Joshua hurried to sit by his mother.
‘Now that your father is dead,’ she took a breath. ‘The creditor needs our money. But we don’t have a thing in the house! No more than a little oil!’
Her breath became ragged and raspy again.
‘Calm down,’ Daniel ordered her as he smoothed her hair down and patted her on the shoulder.
‘A-a-a-and now he wants you two as s-s-s-s-s-slaves f-for him,’ she burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.
Joshua stared at his brother apprehensively.
‘We must ask the man of God,’ Daniel decided. ‘Our father revered the Lord. Surely he will help us.’
His mother immediately stopped weeping. Her face brightened and wiped away her tears. ‘Daniel. I believe you are right. I will leave right away.’


And before Joshua could say ‘Methuselah’ she was out of the house.
It was not long before their mother was back. Her face was happier then it had been for a long time.
‘What did he say?’ Daniel asked eagerly.
‘Yes, what?’ Joshua said, just as keen.
‘He asked me this,’ their mother said confidently. ‘How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house? I told him we have only a little oil. Then he said ‘Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don't ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.’
‘We, must do as he says,’ Daniel said, enthusiastic to follow the plan.
For the next hour Joshua and Daniel went to all the neighbors’ houses.
When they came, their mother’s face was shining. She had the oil on the bench and beckoned them to come and help.
They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to Joshua, "Bring me another one." But he replied, "There is not a jar left." Then the oil stopped flowing.
‘I must tell the man of God,’ she said.
Joshua went back to his mattress and soon fell asleep. He did not wake up, even when she came home to tell him that she had sold the oil and paid the creditor.

Jordan

The Key to Rondo

Book Review
The Key to Rondo
Emily Rodda

The music slowed, and stopped. Leo wound the box again. One, two, three. As the music began, he heard his mother moving around in the spare room next door, and sighed. He wanted to forget that Mimi Langlander, his least favourite second cousin, was coming to stay.
Leo Zifkak is known for being responsible. His cousin, Mimi, is known for being bratty and irresponsible.
So when they’re both pulled into the magical world of Rondo inside a music box, Leo knows who is to blame. Mimi refuses to leave until she finds her lost dog, Mutt, and Leo refuses to leave without Mimi.
With them both wandering around Rondo they’re sure to run into adventure.
Readers of ages 10-14 will enjoy this exciting adventure by the best-selling author Deltora Quest.
Other books by Emily Rodda:

Finders Keeper
The Time Keeper
Deltora Quest Series
Rowan of Rin Series

George III

I've been reading in a book lately about King George III. He's famous for his 'periods of insanity'.
I thought these facts about him were pretty weird.

• Ended every sentence he spoke with the word 'peacock.' (Tried to open in parliment with 'My Lord's and peacocks.')
• Believed that London was flooded and ordered a yacht.
• Wore a pillowcase around his head.
• 'Adopted' the new-born Prince Octavius. Nothing weird about this, except Prince Octavius was a pillow.
• Told the queen that she had been mad for 30 years.
• Believed that he himself was dead and wore black as a sign of mourning for 'that good man, George III.'

Jordan

The Worst Kids in the World

The Worst Kids in the World
Barbara Robinson

They were just so all-round awful you could hardly believe they were real:
Ralph, Imogene, Leroy, Claude, Ollie, and Gladys- six skinny, stringy-haired kids all alike except from being different sizes and having different black-and-blue places where they had clonked each other.
The Herdman kids are the worst kids in the world. Lying, stealing, smoking, and swearing are only some of the awful things that the Herdmans do.
So it’s incredibly surprising when the ‘terrors of the town’ take over the annual Christmas play, which results in the worst, or is it the best, Christmas pageant ever.
For ages eight to thirteen.
If you enjoy this humorous story, you may also enjoy the sequel-
‘The Best School Year Ever.’

Who Let the Dogs Out?

This is a short-story/narration that I wrote after reading 2 Kings, chapter 9 (Verses 30 to 37 if you want to be precise) yesterday. Enjoy, or be grossed out...


I live right near the palace. Me and many other dogs. We are strays. Dogs who have wandered too far and gotten lost, or dogs who are not wanted anymore.
Sometimes the palace chef will give us scraps. Not that he knows it.
He will come, or send another servant, with a large wooden bowl. The large bowl is filled with fowl bones, (sometimes still with scraps of meat on them) leftovers from stuffed peacock, pork, and many other delicacies. The chef, or his servant, will dump all the contents of the wooden bowl into a large hole in the ground. This is where they dump all their leftovers.
This is how the other strays and I eat. If there were few leftovers from the past night, we can usually find some scrap that we missed from the night before, or from the night before that.
Lately though, we have had less scraps. Someone must be eating an awful lot, for there has been very few scraps, and, once or twice, there has been none at all!
It is awful. Many of the dogs are skinny as it is, and now that there is not enough food to go around, they have become skinnier still.
We are hungry, and there is never much to eat.
I, as leader of the pack, have more food than the others, and the dogs respect me and let me have first choice. But sometimes I give all of it to the skinniest dogs, who get barely a mouthful.
The other day, we were able to observe a most interesting sight.
The king’s daughter, (Not Jehu, the other king, who Jehu killed) known as, Jezebel, was in her room. She heard the Jehu was coming, and she suspected it wasn’t a friendly visit. She painted her eyes and bejewelled her head and looked out the window. Jehu was coming through the gate. Jezebel called out to him, ‘Have you come in peace, Zimri, you murderer of your master?’
Jehu seemed enraged at this woman and he called ‘Who is on my side? Who?’
Two or three eunuchs looked down at him.
‘Throw her down!’ commanded Jehu pointing at Jezebel.
There was a piercing scream, and then a sickening thud. Jezebel was dead.
He blood spattered on the walls, and even on the horses who trampled on her.
Jehu went in to eat and drink.
I turned to my pack of strays. ‘Are you hungry?’ I asked them.
They nodded.
‘Hungry enough to eat a woman?’ I asked.
Realization began to show in their eyes. We searched to make sure there was no one around, and then ran towards the body of Jezebel.


We devoured her quickly. Our hunger getting the best of us.
Then we heard footsteps approaching towards us and a voice saying, ‘Take care of that cursed woman, and bury her, for she was a king’s daughter.’
We quickly scampered away, afraid of being seen. We hid behind a large fruit tree and I saw two servants come up to what was left of Jezebel’s body. They muttered between themselves for a moment before turning away and walking back towards the palace doors.
The other dogs wanted to go and finish up the body, but I sensed danger, and it was only a few moments before Jehu and the two servants came back to look at the remains of Jezebel.
‘See,’ said once servant. ‘All that remains of Jezebel is her skull, her feet, and her hands.’
The other dogs began to creep away, back to our hiding place. I followed them. As I crept away I heard Jehu remarking gravely, ‘this is the word of the LORD that he spoke through his servant Elijah the Tishbite: On the plot of ground at Jezreel dogs will devour Jezebel's flesh. Jezebel's body will be like refuse on the ground in the plot at Jezreel, so that no one will be able to say, ‘This is Jezebel.’’

Jordan
Monday, August 10, 2009

Quilt

After many monthly sewing lessons, I have finally finished the top of my quilt.

As I've said before, I don't really like sewing, but I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out...

Jordan

Slime

Recipe promises fun for the kids, and mess for the mother:

Just add water, to flour...Quite fun really...Mind you these pictures are from Bourke, quite a few years ago...

Jordan

The Witch of Blackbird Pond

Book Review on….

‘The Witch of Blackbird Pond’
By Elizabeth George Speare

How would you like to be accused of witchcraft?
Elizabeth George Speare writes an incredible Newberry Award Winner about Kit Tyler, an orphan who goes to live with her uncle, aunt, and two cousins in Connecticut.
Connecticut is certainly not expecting Kit and her strange ways, especially when she starts hanging out with Hannah, a Quaker woman, who everyone is positive is a ‘witch.’
When strange things start happening everyone is sure it’s Hannah fault, and when Kit tries to protect her friend, she find herself accused of witchcraft!
An irresistible book filled with excitement and a thrill that will keep you on your toes for the entire book!
If you liked ‘The Witch of Blackbird Pond’ you might also like other books by Elizabeth’s George Speare:

* The Bronze Bow
* Sign of the Beaver

While the Cats are Away...

While Mum and Dad are happily gallivanting around in Switzerland, what are we, their sweet girls doing?

• Playing the piano. Madly. Exams on Wednesday so practice, practice, practice!!
• Eating pizza. This is what our schedule revolves around tonight. Pizza, soft drink, and a rental movie.
• Schoolwork. Yes, while our parents are in Venice and Rome, at the Louvre and Eiffel Tower, we are slaving in the hot/cold weather, working, working, working!
• Bathing the dog. This happened to fall to my lot. Not always a pleasant experience. She looks like a drowned rat after coming out of the water. Then I have to dry her with a hairdryer. Unbelievable. Even I don't have my hair dried with a hairdryer!
• Singstar. Listening to my siblings honk loudly into the microphones. They are probably the cause of the one of the microphones now being broken.

So much for Bungee Jumping, Party of the Year, ect.

Jordan